Friend or More (Johnlock)
by Spen Hans
Summary: John questions his relationship with Mary and Sherlock. This takes place after series 3, and is narrated on and off by John and Sherlock (Odd numbered chapters narrated by John and even numbered chapters from Sherlock's perspective)
1. Chapter 1

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter one

~John~

My wife shot my best friend. She shot him. He may be alive, but she shot him. there are too many things swimming through my head like a chaotic school of fish.

Mary stands in the middle of the long and dimly lighted hallway. The one Sherlock tricked her into walking into and confessing the truth of her shooting my friend.

Mary looks at me. If only i could read people like Sherlock.

"John." She says calmly and carefully, like how you'd speak to an animal that could pounce at any time.

That was months ago. Regretfully I chose to forgive her. But me accepting her meant two things, one, I let the person who almost murdered my best friend free. Secondly its caused me to drift away from sherlock. which was overwhelmingly painful for both of us.

Currently I'm sitting in my office staring at a man's testicles. Like usual. My patient was complaining about a bump, worried that it could be cancer. It wasn't. It was a long day, too many patients. Too many testicles. Too many other problems, I need to deal with my problem. Mary.

Smiling, Mary walks in for our lunch break, "you ready to have lunch?"

"Yup." I say with the most excitement I can conjure up.

We walk to a local coffee shop. It's nice and warm inside, however, outside its pouring rain. "John. Is everything okay?" Mary questions.

The truth was that no. I am not okay. I thought I could accept mary. But I don't know anymore. Instead of saying the truth I calmly answer "I'm fine. Its just the weather"

"Okay..." mary answers in an I-don't-buy-it tone. "what's sherlock up to? I haven't seen him in a while."

"I'm sure he's fine. Busy I suppose. Too damn busy to even talk." Truth is I haven't even talked to Sherlock in a week. Normally, we'd at least solve a case. He hasn't asked me to solve a case for a while. I began to worry if he's moved on. I missed his voice. deep and assuring.

"Sometimes I feel like you'd rather be married to him than me" Mary says, only barely sarcastic. I froze, I will admit I have liked Sherlock before, but we're just friends. I quickly push the thought away like usual.

"Listen Mary, I married you, didn't I? And you did shoot him."

"Is this what's bothering you? That was months ago, you said you forgave me"

"I'm still very cross, he's my best friend." I take a sip of coffee, avoiding eye contact.

"And I am your wife." Mary says, full of affection, grasping my hands trying to act as charming as possible. I didn't feel charmed by her though, she didn't seem to be the same Mary I knew. Hesitantly I force myself to smile back.

Later I sit in my flat with Mary, sitting but not talking. All I could think about was Sherlock. Mid thought, he barged in, without knocking. "What the bloody hell!?" I yell, secretly pleased to see him. Mary and I are both up now. He's out of breath, his dark curls fall in front of his eyes. His cheeks puff in and out in a hypnotic fashion.

"Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Watson, I'm on a case, I need something." Sherlock rushes to the lamp next to where I stand, picking it up and then instantly running out the door. Me and Mary just look at each other, dumbfounded. A few seconds later we hear the breaking of glass.

Mary's eyes widen, "He broke our vase." She repeated it again, "He broke our vase!" we rush to the door to see a man with a ski mask passed out on the sidewalk framed by the fragments of our once beautiful vase. No sign of Sherlock. Soon later a few policemen come round the corner and put the unnamed man into the police car.

"Some case he's on." I state.

"He broke our vase! That was my mothers!" Mary says. And you shot my friend. I think. But only respond with "Well it was in order to arrest a criminal."

We walk back in the house. I sit down in my chair where the lamp was once, now empty. I wish Sherlock would have wanted me to go with him. But I'm stuck in the damn house reading a damn book with my damn wife.


	2. Chapter 2

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter two

~Sherlock~

She shot me. His wife. And John chose her. Obviously I told John to trust her. But I'm not sure if that was the right choice. I feel betrayed. Maybe brother was right, maybe getting involved is a bad thing. I won't get involved though. These are all just people. John is just a person. Just another brainless fish. Isn't he?

He said I was his best friend. He accepted me. I thought I loved him, but maybe not. I sit in my flat alone. No more John, just me. I look at his empty chair. I imagine him there, sitting in his sweater. Him typing on his laptop, writing about us, his furry eyebrows raise while he writes. But now it's just me. My eyes begin to water, I hate this.

Mrs. Hudson barges in carrying in a tray with toast and tea. I quickly recover from these idiotic useless emotions. "Damn it Mrs. Hudson! Knock, isn't that what you people do!?"

Surprised, Mrs. Hudson just sets the tray on the table. "Sorry Sherlock! Oh! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, damn it just leave, I just need a case!"

Mrs. Hudson rushes over like a worried mother, "Sherlock! have you been crying? Is this about John?"

"No, nothings the matter" I lie. I notice some marijuana leaves under her elderly fingernails. And flower on her dress.

"This is about John isn't it!" She exclaims.

In order to get her off my back I tell her "Maybe you should check your weed brownies in the oven, I imagine they are almost done." Her eyes widen and backs up.

"Oh Sherlock, I'm just trying to help." She scurries away, obviously embarrassed about me uncovering her secret.I am quiet now. Thinking in my chair, the dust starts to settle. I am alone.

About a week later I find myself in a case. It leaves me to a chase down a London walkway. The burglar I was chasing keeps looking back at me, we both could keep running for an infinity. I needed to stop him, I needed to knock him out with something. In order to do that I needed to find something to knock him out with. There are a thousand possibilities. However I remember that John's house is close to where I am. He normally would have been running right next to me. But not anymore.

I decide to make a stop at his house to find the blunt object I'd use to knock the burglar out. I take a sharp turn down an alley for a short cut. I needed to get in front of him. Then I see it, John's flat. I bust in. Both Mary and John stand up, shocked. Explaining that I was on a case, I picked up the vase. I expected John to ask if he could come, but instead he just looked at me in disgust. He must hate me. Feeling disappointed I jog out.

Just as I thought out, the burglar turned a sharp corner right by me. I knock him out, and call the police. Instead of getting the attention I deserve, I round a corner to an alley. I break down. My tears burn my cold face, my hands cover my eyes. How foolish am I? He obviously doesn't want to come, why expect him to want to come with you! He chose Mary! The thoughts buzz around his head like a swarm of angry bees.

Normally John would have come. He would have begged for the excitement. But now He must hate me, he wants to be with Mary! Under my sobbing breath I exclaim "He doesn't like you! He hates you!" I feel so foolish, when he said I was his best friend I thought maybe just maybe he meant it. I keep on telling myself to forget John, because he no longer wants me. But something keeps pulling me back to him, just to get heartbroken.

That was a week ago. I've made a decision, I'd stop even trying to get John to talk to me. That's until I hear a quick rap on the door. It was him. I slowly walk towards the door, I'm determined not to let John get to me, he's just a person.

I'm in my robe, just finished bathing, when I open the door to find him. He stands there, awkwardly looking up at me with those beautiful blue wrinkly eyes. "We haven't talked in forever." John's words seemed simple yet planned out.

"Yes." I say without emotion, even though my emotions are overflowing.

"Can I come in?" He says after a few seconds pass without any words passing.

"Sure." I step aside and John walks in. Why is he here!?

John looks sad for a minute, then subconsciously shakes his head as if trying to shake off his happiness. "You've kept my chair I see."

"Yup." He plops his tiny self down and begins to smile. I missed his smile.

"Mary is mad about the vase thing you know." John explains lightheartedly.

I sit in my chair. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"What was that case even about?" John asks curiously.

"Long story. You obviously didn't want to know about it then, so why act like you care now?" I spat out the words carelessly, they sounded colder than I meant them to be.

John looks shocked, not expecting any emotion from me. "I wasn't invited."

"I bursted into your house" I spit back

"That wasn't an invitation"

"Yes it was"

John just looks at me. We are fighting, about idiotic things. He looks up at me. His eyes wet with emotion. "Sherlock, listen to me. There is a lot going on. I'm sorry I didn't go with you, I wanted to. But I wasn't sure if you wanted me there. I've missed you, and don't understand why you don't ask me to help with a case." The words are finally released from his mouth. I never expected them to come. He really did care. I pause, not knowing what to say. John just looks up to me, eyes watering, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"You know what, never mind I'll just leave." He wanted me to talk back to him, but I'm too overwhelmed by what he just said. He steps towards the door and without thinking I grab his hand from leaving. He turns around, a tear rushing down his face.

Why I grabbed his hand I don't know, but I did. "John, I… I -..." I couldn't get the words I've been trying to say. The words of love and excitement I was going to say were replaced with "I miss you too, say hello to Mary for me."

He just smiles, and slowly walks away. I wanted to still be holding his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter 3

~John~

I needed to talk to him, it's been forever. Sitting on our bed, Mary sips her tea. She catches me looking at her, "What's wrong sweetie."

"Nothing, I'm going out for a bit" I say nervously.

"Have fun sweetie." Her eyes go back down to her tea and book. She wasn't like Sherlock at all. She didn't treat me like Sherlock did.

Outside is chilly, I headed towards 221B, I needed to be brave. I knock, I instantly regretted this decision, I didn't even have something to say. I mean, besides talking about 'us'. He opens the door, he wears a robe, his body dripped with water. his little hairs on his chest patted down. His eyes don't show much emotion. I take a breath, then speak what I've been meaning to say. "We haven't talked in forever."

"Yes." He answers. Yes? just YES? I think.

"Can I come in?"

He blankly answers sure and gestures me in. His flat stunk of musk. He's kept my chair though. We talk about the broken vase, then I ask about the case. Sherlock's emotion and tone changed. He said "Long story. You obviously didn't want to know about it then, so why act like you care now?"

I was pissed at the genius. "I wasn't invited." I throw back.

Through use of sudden bitter explanations, I learned that he did want me to join him on the case. I conjure up the courage and tell him how I felt, and how I missed him. He just stares at me. The nerve of him! He didn't even answer, So I just said "You know what, never mind, I'll just leave."

Getting up, I grab my coat. I was so mad at myself for thinking that Sherlock was going to say he missed me back. Almost at the door I suddenly feel his soft hand take mine. I turn around. I wanted to be with him. I didn't want him to let go. I had a sudden urge to kiss him. I look at him, our eyes meet, for a second I felt like I could read him. He told be that he did miss me too. I was so happy. For a second it sounded like he was going to say he loved me.

He let go of my hand and I left. I wanted Sherlock so bad. I head back to my home where Mary was. I walk into our room and she still was on the bed. I wanted her to be Sherlock. I imagine him lying on my bed, still dripping in his robe. My fantasy was interrupted by Mary "You were with Sherlock. Weren't you"

"Yeah I was, we just needed to chat." I say sitting back in my chair.

"I think you need to stop obsessing over him." Mary speaks the words with a tone that sounded dark and unfamiliar. I've been wanting to leave her for months. She's not the same, I honestly don't know how I could have even thought to forgive her for shooting Sherlock.

But where would I go? Could I go to Sherlock's? Could he want something more than a friendship too? All I knew is I couldn't stand being with Mary.

"John, are you alright?" Mary asks

I look up at her with worried eyes. "No" I reply. "Mary this is hard, but listen to me. We fight all the time now. I've been so depressed with my life recently. I… I don't think we should be together."

Mary just looks up her eyes still unfamiliar look up at me. I had no idea how she'd respond, all I wanted for her to agree. She didn't look shocked or sad when she answered "Just wait, John we can figure things out."

"Not now we can't. I grab my coat. I leave. The moon lights my way to Sherlock's. This time I was going to tell him the whole truth.


	4. Chapter 4

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter 4

~Sherlock~

The thoughts of John's soft hands filled my mind. Nothing else occupied it, no cases, no murders, just his hands, and the only thing that could interrupt is a knock upon my door. I walk to the door of my lonely flat, the dim light from the sun that was just heading down the skyline shined on my guest. It was him.

He looked like he was in a rush, he didn't say anything, not one word. Though no words were needed, he stepped up and did something I'd never expect. He kissed me. His arms wrapped around me as our lips collided. The kiss was short, but it was perfect. He pushed himself away. Still no words, we just looked at each other He chuckled at me, noticing how stupid of a smile I had on my face.

I was dumbfounded. Was this real? Was anything that was going on real? Am I dreaming? My questions were answered when he responded. "I love you Sherlock, I always have." as if he knew what I was thinking.

"John I-" I start to say, then I realise that we didn't need words, John's kiss said that he loved me, now I was to respond. I grab him by the waist, and kiss him with an even more passionate kiss, his lips were soft and filled with warmth.

I pulled away, our silent conversation was over, we began to giggle like school kids, both of our secrets finally revealed. It was strange, it's like neither of us needed many words, we've always been so close, I guess we both just needed a push. "I love you too" I answer pulling him into the flat.

I wanted to go farther, but I realised that we probably should get some more explanations. "So what about Mary?" I ask. Still not fully able to wrap my brain around what had just happened.

"Mary is not the person who I thought she was, and to be honest, I really only saw her because I was trying to get over losing the person I really loved." He looked at me with his round eyes, smiling. We sat in our normal chairs, everything was the same, only we both knew the truth. It felt good being free. I felt like a kid, I changed positions in my chair every few seconds, too excited to sit still.

We sat and talked for another hour. I laughed for the first time in months. We would kiss every few minutes. It felt like we've always been a couple. We discussed Mary, which was annoying, I just wanted her gone now. Which John wanted too. We decided we'd tell her, and hopefully she would just leave.

Our conversations didn't get boring, I felt like a normal person. I laughed and kissed like a normal person. He wasn't just my goldfish, he was so much more. We eventually moved over to the fire place, sitting on the ground, I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he placed his hand on my leg. His touch was so comforting, it was like nothing I've ever felt before.

The lights we're off, the sun was down, and the only thing giving any light was the fireplace we sat in front of. It was getting so late, John reached over and grabbed my face kissing it. We eventually fell asleep in eachothers arms, not caring that we were on the ground, everything was perfect. Nothing could break us, we are invincible.


	5. Chapter 5

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter 5

~John~

I wake with him in my arms. He breathes deeply, still sound asleep, the warmth from the fireplace radiates heat onto us. The morning light rises slowly, finding it's way into the flat through the curtains. Smiling, I pull my fingers through his thick curly hair. The strands flow delicately through my fingers. The ends of his lips curve upward in a smile, his eyes still shut tight. He opens his mouth to talk, "Goodmorning love."

"Goodmorning" I say back, slowly getting myself up. I stumble over to the kitchen to fix us breakfast. It feels like we've been a couple for years, even though it's only been this way for a night. Rubbing his eyes, I find Sherlock following me into the kitchen. I hear him yawn as he stumbles into a chair. I'm brewing coffee when I suddenly feel his arms wrap around my waist, he kisses up my neck and bites my ear playfully.

I wanted to do so much with him right now, but sadly I knew I'd have to wait until at least tonight. His breath stunk as most breath in the morning does, however it didn't stop me from turning around and kissing him right back, I press my lips to his. My arms now around his waist, he moaned with my touch. I reluctantly push myself away to continue with breakfast, Sherlock sighs, obviously wanting more too, but I knew I wanted to make it special, tonight would be special.

"What do you think Mary is doing now?" Sherlock asks, ruffling his hair.

"Probably shooting someone's best friend." I joke

Sherlock sits at the island, "Just friend?"

I turn around from whisking the eggs, "No, probably so much more than a friend." We continue talking, just as we always did, he talked about getting back on a case, I told him I'd come with him.

"Is this what a 'normal' relationship is like?" Sherlock asks, fiddling with some papers next to him.

"I hope not" I say turning around abandoning the eggs, "We will never be normal, and that's a bloody amazing thing."

Finally finished with making the egg and toast breakfast, I sit at the island, across from him. We eat slowly, looking up at each other occasionally, sharing warm smiles. Once finished, he wipes his mouth with a cloth napkin and gets up saying, "There is a very important case I'm in the middle of right now, so I think we both need a shower before going.

I hopped in the shower as he got ready in the bedroom. I was in the middle of washing my hair, when Sherlock pulls back the shower curtain and lays a kiss on my lips, and without an explanation leaves, to continue getting ready. Shocked, I shake my head at the stupid genius. He was so random, and I loved that about him. This is perfect, I think.

Once out of the shower I find Sherlock at the door, rushing me to get ready, "We need to go!" he yells.

We head to the case, Greg and Sherlock talk about it. I tried to piece together what it was about, and all I picked up was that there was some sort of serial killer. Greg was in the lead of the investigation, and needed Sherlock and I to help. Lestrade, Sherlock and I sit in a room of an overly-perfumed house, that belonged to a woman who wore only pink. She was the mother of one of the victims.

I look at the pink clock. It was already 7:30, I wanted tonight to be special, I needed to get things ready. The old woman explained to us for the millionth time on how she never expected her son to get murdered. Finally I got up and left Greg and Sherlock alone to interview her, I told them I wasn't feeling okay.

Finally out of the pink hell house, I head to the store, looking for things to make tonight perfect. I had a smile on the whole time in the store. People looked at me in judgment, but I didn't care, I'd make tonight a night to remember.


	6. Chapter 6

Spen Hans

Friend or More

Chapter 6

~Sherlock~

I was a little upset at John for leaving me and Greg to interrogate the old woman to ourselves, I thought he'd want to be with me more now that we've become somewhat of a 'couple'. I suppose every human relationship will have it's ups and downs.

The street lights illuminate the ground in front of me, the streets were eerie, but I still had a smile, a big weird one at that. I suppose all smiles are weird, but this one was even larger than usual, I was so excited to see John tonight. He would be there wouldn't he? But what if he didn't want me anymore? Maybe he decided to go back to Mary? Maybe he didn't love me after all? My expression changed from happiness to fear, maybe my goldfish swam away, back to Mary.

I start running now, he couldn't leave me, not now! I felt tears filling my eyes, the cold air burning them. I stopped from running, realizing how ridiculous I was being, he'd be there, he wouldn't just leave without me knowing. But I kept running towards our flat, this time with excitement. I passed a few obvious drug dealers, but I kept running, giddily laughing. I couldn't wait to see him.

The lights are off in 221B, the street quite. I slowly opened the door, a lamp was on lighting up one rose petal, placed delicately on the floor. I walked over to it, burrowing my eyebrows, confused. I bent down picked it up and examined it. I dropped it when I discovered a trail of them, leading further into the dark flat. I walked by, picking each up, one by one. "Oh John" I said under my breath, that man never ceases to surprise me. They lead to our bedroom, the door was closed, but I could see light finding it's way out from under it.

I opened up the door, the petals surrounded the bed with John on top of it, in a pair of red pants. He looked at me, candles lighted the room dimly. "Hello honey." He said.

I smirked at him, "You're trying too hard to look sexy John."

"Well is it working?" He said, propping his head up with his hand.

I moved slowly towards him, taking off my scarf, "Indeed." And just like that I hopped onto the bed with him, he wrapped his arms around me, and carefully moved on top of me. Grabbing my coat, he ripped it off, next was my purple shirt, he was slower this time, unbuttoning it. He kissed down my neck, his lips were thick and moist. He pulled at my ear, biting it lightly. He playfully licked around my earlobe. He threw my shirt off the bed onto the pile of rose petals.

Pulling my pants off, he sat back on my legs, admiring my naked body. He bent down licking at my nipples, his tongue toyed around with them. It felt so good, I tipped my head back and moaned with pleasure.

Only now did I notice he had the song 'Laid' by Matt Nathanson playing in the background. He started to pull off his own pants throwing them next to my clothes. He grabs me and forcefully twists me around, grabbing my ass.

I grabbed the pillows, while my head rested on them. I could hear John fiddling with something, he was putting on his condom. He smiled and I started to laugh with joy, the sounds muffled by the pillows. "Are you ready?" He asked feeling up my legs.

"Yes." I respond, waiting for him. He slowly stuck it in me, moving back and forth. It rubbed the inside of me just perfectly. I moaned.

John stopped asking me, "Are you okay?"

I got impatient, "Yes! You bloody idiot!"

He let out a small chuckle as he shoved it in, harder this time. I grabbed the pillows, moving with the rhythm of the song playing in the background. He pushed in harder and harder, faster and faster. "Keep going!" I yelled. With every push, gave me more and more pleasure. He grabbed around my waist, I heard him breathing heavily.

We kept at it for another few minutes, until I swung around, throwing him on his back. He looked at me with confusion, I then proceeded to sit on his penis, going up and down on the bed. The bed creaked as loud as John grunted. I rubbed my hands around his blond hairy chest. "OH YES!" John yelled, he exploded inside of me. Everything I ever longed for just happened. John's chest pumped up and down, his ejaculation was a strong one.

I fall back on the bed next to him with grace. We were quite, we breathed in sync, smiling at eachother. He turned his head and faced me, "That was bloody amazing."

I looked back at him, trying to control my breathing. "Yes my love, it was." Within a few minutes we were asleep, exposed on top of the sheets, wet with our sweat.


End file.
